Hate That I Love You
by LetTheRadioBreakTheSilence
Summary: Shane had loved her to two years, but he couldn't have her. After one night changes everything, will Nate ever be able to forgive him? Mini-story. Shane/OC.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Shane…"

"Hey, Jenna…what's up?"

Shane pushed a few stray hairs from his face. He had been sleeping before she had knocked on his hotel room door. He didn't mind being woken up by her, though. She came over at night sometimes just to talk; he could talk to her about anything. She didn't usually come this late, but he was happy to see her. He was always happy to see her.

He looked her up and down; she had obviously been out clubbing. Her tight, dark, skinny jeans hugged her body perfectly, as did her silver halter top. Her long, dark red hair was pulled up into a loose bun, out of the way of her beautiful face; her perfect, tan skin, deep brown eyes, and plump, red lips.

"How are you, sweetie?" she asked, taking his hand in hers.

By the tone of her voice, he could tell that she'd been drinking. He wasn't surprised; every Saturday, she went out with Melissa, Jason's girlfriend, and they both came back fairly tipsy.

"Um…I'm fine," Shane replied, pulling his hand away. "I was kinda sleeping…how are you?"

"I'm better now," she smiled, stepping into the room and pressing her lips against his.

He wrapped his arms around her waist instinctively; he had dreamed about kissing her for so long. He'd played it over and over again in his mind. He remembered every detail about the first time they had met; he had loved her instantly. That was two years ago, and his feelings had only grown stronger.

Shane realized what he was doing and pushed her away quickly. "You should go."

"Why?" she asked innocently, running her hands over his chest.

"You know why."

Jenna pouted dramatically. "You don't like me?"

He sighed heavily. "I think you're great, Jenna."

"I'm not pretty enough?" she smiled, knowing that wasn't true.

"You're beautiful."

"Then why don't you want me, Shaney?" she asked, stroking his cheek gently.

_Why don't I want you?_ he thought, the notion ridiculous. He had wanted her for two years. Resisting the urge to wrap his arms around her and kiss her, like he just had, had taken every ounce of self-control he had. Not telling anyone how he felt had been even harder, but he couldn't.

"Jenna, stop," he said seriously, pushing her hands away from him and taking a step back. "It doesn't matter what I want."

"Of course it does…" she gave him a sexy smile, moving towards him.

"No, it doesn't," he repeated, gripping her wrists so she couldn't touch him again. "You're my best friend's girlfriend."

It killed Shane to see her with Nate. It killed him when Nate asked him for relationship advice. But what really, _really _killed him was that Nate didn't know what he had. He was sure that Nate loved her. They'd been together for two years, after all, but he took her for granted. He didn't treat her like she deserved to be treated, like a princess, like Shane would treat her if she was his girlfriend. Sometimes Shane thought that Nate loved the fact that she was a model more than he actually loved her.

Jenna smiled at him seductively. She reached behind her neck and pulled at the end of the bow that was holding her halter top up. It untied easily and her shirt fell to her waist.

Shane was in shock. He stared blankly for a second before quickly tearing his eyes away and meeting hers. She began walking towards him slowly; he took a step back for every one she took forward. "Jenna…you shouldn't…I can't…you have to go…"

He stepped back and ran into the end of his bed, forcing him to sit down. She grinned and placed one knee on either side of his thighs, straddling him.

"I know you want me, Shane. Just do what feels right," she whispered, kissing him passionately.

Nothing about this felt right. Nate would never speak to him again if he even knew that they had kissed once, let alone what was happening now. He never wanted to be 'that guy' in any situation. She was tipsy.

But at the same time, it felt like she was meant to be in his arms. That they were meant to be kissing. A million things raced through Shane's mind. He tried to keep reminding himself: _she's your best friend's girl._ But only one thought persevered.

_I love her._

He knew what his body wanted to do. He had imagined every detail; how her skin would feel, how she would smell and taste, how her voice would sound when she whispered in his ear. He fought it for a moment, but the thought wouldn't stop.

_I love her. I love her so much. So much more than he does._

Against all his better judgment, he gently placed his hands on her waist. Her skin was so soft under his fingers. He couldn't stop himself from running his hands around her back and pulling her warm body closer to his. He could feel her hands slide down to the hem of his tee-shirt.

He knew he should stop it right there, before it could go any further. He knew he should make her leave. He knew all the reasons that this was going to blow up in his face. He knew all the things he was risking. But his mind wouldn't stop saying _I have loved her for so long_, and so he let her pull his shirt up and over his head. And then he let her push him back and lie on top of him, her bare chest against his as she kissed his neck and pushed his sweatpants to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shane, wake up!"

"Huh?" he muttered at the voice.

"Wake up!" she shook him.

Shane opened his eyes sleepily. He jumped when he Jenna in bed next to him. _Oh shit…that wasn't just a dream._

"Someone's at the door," she whispered.

"Jesus Christ…stay here," he told her, rolling out of bed quickly in his boxers.

He closed the door to the bedroom and walked through the living room to the door. He opened it just enough to poke his head out and see who it was.

"Dude, we're leaving in an hour. Get ready," Jason said.

Shane thought for a moment and remembered that they were going to be on TRL today. "Uh…yeah, okay. Thanks."

Jason studied his friend's face for a moment, and Shane prayed that his expression wasn't screaming _I'm a piece of shit, I slept with Nate's girlfriend._ "Do you have a girl in there?"

_Shit_.

"No," Shane replied defensively.

Jason's face broke into a grin. He punched Shane's shoulder. "You do! I'll leave, I know when I'm not welcome, but you really do need to get ready."

Shane nodded and closed the door on his friend quickly. He hurried back to the bedroom, thoughts of the night before racing through his mind.

"I have to get ready, we're leaving for the studio in an hour," he told her. "You should go…Nate might be looking for you or something."

"Yeah," Jenna nodded, pulling her jeans from last night on.

She gave him that sexy smile again and pressed her lips against his, breaking the kiss after a moment and walking out of the room without saying anything.

"Damn it," Shane muttered to himself. "I am such a fucking idiot."

As he got in the shower, all he could think about was how he could possibly face Nate after what he had done. It would be hard enough now; what would happen if he found out? Would Jenna confess to him? Maybe he would never find out. But Shane would still know what he had done, and whether or not Nate found out, that was going to be hard to live with.

He dried off and threw some clothes on, barely checking to make sure that they matched. He grabbed his wallet and room key, shoved them in his pocket, and headed out the door and to the elevators.

When he reached the lobby, Nate and Jason were already there, waiting for the car that was coming to get them.

"Hey, dude," Nate called to him.

_Good morning, buddy, I had sex with your girlfriend last night._

"Hey," Shane replied.

Jason stared at him harshly and stood up from the chair he had been resting in. He grabbed Shane's arm and pulled him into the corner, out of Nate's view. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay…what's up?" Shane asked, genuinely confused. Why did Jason look so pissed at him?

"I saw Jenna come out of your room this morning."

_Shit!_ Shane's mind screamed. "So…that was noth…"

"Shane, save the bullshit," Jason interrupted him. "You don't exactly hide the fact that you are totally in love with her well, Nate couldn't find her last night, you're in your boxers when I came to wake you up, and she comes out of your room two minutes later in party clothes. I'm not an idiot, I can do the math."

Shane sighed. "Did you tell Nate?"

"No, but you should," Jason replied. "How long have you guys been sneaking around behind his back?"

"We haven't been sneaking around. It was just this one time," Shane promised.

"How could you do that to him?"

Shane shook his head. "I don't know. I told her to leave, more than once…but then…I don't know. I guess my heart beat my conscience."

"If you don't tell him, I'm going to," Jason said seriously. "Tonight."

"Okay," Shane replied quietly. "I'll talk to him when we get back."


	3. Chapter 3

"Nate, are you busy?" Shane asked, stepping into his friend's room.

Nate looked up from the television. "Do I _look_ busy?"

"No…" Shane replied. He had been hoping that his friend would have been too busy to talk. He was glad Jenna wasn't there, at least. Because of their manager's "rules," any girls that came had to have their own room, but he had worried that they might be hanging out.

"What's up?"

"Um…" Shane started. _How do you tell someone something like this?_ "Uh…you're my best friend, you know that, right?"

"Yeah…" Nate replied.

Shane took a deep breath. He had no idea what he was going to say. "I, um…I don't really know how to say this, but…I…um…Jenna…"

"Wait, let me guess, you're in love with my girlfriend?" Nate laughed. "Yeah, it's kind of obvious."

"No…" Shane started. "Well…yes…but…that's not what I'm trying to tell you."

"Just tell me, dude, it can't be that bad."

Shane looked down at the floor_. Yes, it can be that bad. It's even worse than that. You are never going to want to talk to me again. You're probably going to hit me. I wouldn't blame you. I deserve it. _

"Shane?"

"I slept with Jenna," he said quickly.

Nate just stared at him for a moment, and then he stood up and walked towards Shane slowly. He stopped only about a foot away from him.

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?"

"I wish I was…" Shane admitted, bracing himself for a punch in the face.

Nate just looked at him again, his face painted with rage. Shane couldn't stand the silence.

"Nate…"

"Get out," Nate said slowly.

"What?"

"Get out," Nate repeated. "Or I'm seriously going to kill you."

Shane nodded and left the room quickly. He hurried back to his room and collapsed on his bed. He would have rather been punched in the face. Nate had hit him once before, but they had laughed about it later. He didn't even remember why he'd hit him. Maybe if he had this time, they would have laughed about it later.

There was a knock on his door. Shane got up nervously to answer it, once again bracing himself for whatever was coming. But it wasn't Nate.

"Nate broke up with me."

"I'm sorry," Shane said quietly. "I had to tell him."

"It's okay," Jenna replied. She looked sad, but she wasn't crying. "Can I come in?"

"Um…" Shane looked out into the hallway. The last thing he needed was for Nate to see her come into his room. There was nobody in the hall. "Okay."

"Thanks," she smiled, stepping into the room and pushing the door closed behind her.

Jenna wrapped her arms around Shane's neck and hugged him tightly. He returned the embrace, his body tingling merely from her touch. Everything was so messed up now, they probably wouldn't even be friends anymore.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have let it get so far."

"No, I'm glad you did," she replied.

"What?"

She kissed him gently, but after a moment he pushed her away.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I thought…" she started, obviously caught off-guard by his reaction. "Don't you want to be with me?"

"No," he replied quickly, but they both knew it was a lie. "Well, yes…but I don't want to be your rebound guy. I don't just want to be the guy you hook up with because it's convenient, like last night."

"That's what you think last night was?" Jenna asked, offended. "Shane, I _like _you. I loved Nate, but a few months ago I just started realizing…Nate and I just don't really connect, I guess. But we do, Shane. You know we do. Even Nate noticed."

Shane sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. "Take it back."

"What? Why?" she took his face in her hands. "Shane, I said I _like_ you. I might even…I might even love you. I want to be with you."

He put his hands on hers and moved them away from his face. "Just take it back. Having to say no won't hurt as much if I can keep on thinking that the only reason you came to my room last night was because you were drunk."

"What?" she asked, shocked. She tried to touch him again but he pushed her hands away. "I thought you loved me."

"I do," he admitted quietly. He hated himself right now, but he knew he would hate himself more if he didn't do it.

"Then why don't you want to be with me?" she almost yelled the question as tears began to run down her face.

"Because Nate's my best friend, and I already stabbed him in the back," Shane explained, staring at the floor. He couldn't watch her cry; especially since he was the reason. "He's probably going to leave the band because of me. He's probably never going to talk to me again. But if there's _any_ chance that he might forgive me…it would be gone if we were together."

"He'll forgive you," she said through her tears, wiping her eyes. "I told him that it was my fault…that I seduced you. That's why he broke up with me."

"You told him that? Why?"

Jenna started crying even harder. She embraced him again, but this time he let her. She wasn't trying to get him to be with her; she just needed a friend to comfort her. "I didn't want you to lose your best friend because of me…because I love you."

"Shh," he whispered, stroking her long hair. "I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"Yeah, me too," she muttered into his chest. "I told him that, too."

"What?"

"That I loved you," she sighed.

"You told him that?!" Shane panicked. "Why would you tell him that?"

"He already knew, basically," Jenna told him. "He said that he had suspected it before."

"Why would he have suspected it?" Shane asked. "I had no idea…"

"Because I'm happier when you're around. He could see it."

Shane nodded; he was trying his hardest not to start crying, too. She was saying everything he had dreamed of hearing her say, and he had to reject her. Turning her away was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

"I should go."

"Yeah," he agreed miserably.

She looked at him sadly and kissed his cheek before turning and escaping quickly out the door.

Shane fell onto the couch and closed his eyes. _She loved me, too_. If he hadn't slept with her, if he'd made her talk to him about what was going on instead, maybe they could have been together. He hoped she was right, that Nate would forgive him. He didn't think he could survive losing both of them.

He was just so tired. He tried to fall asleep, if for no other reason than to take a break from his thoughts. He was awakened by a knock at the door. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, but it had gotten dark outside of his window.

"Nate," he said with surprise when he opened the door.

His friend walked passed him into the room without saying anything. Shane followed him, nervously, and sat down on the couch. Nate collapsed into a chair and dropped his head into his hands.

"If you're really my friend, you won't bring her on the tour," Nate said after several moments of silence.

"What?"

"That would just be rubbing it in my face," Nate replied. "So just, please, don't bring her."

"What are you talking about?" Shane asked, confused. "I told her to leave."

"You did?" Nate sounded surprised. "Why?"

Shane looked at his friend, wondering if that was a trick question. "Because you're my best friend. I didn't think you would be able to forgive me…I had to choose, and your friendship is more important to me."

"Wow," Nate said.

They sat in silence again for what seemed like forever, until Nate finally spoke.

"Shane, you're my best friend. And Jenna…well, I love her, but I knew we weren't going to work. The last few months, I knew that she had feelings for you, and I was kind of…I guess starting to love her as more of a friend than a girlfriend. We were drifting apart."

"What are you saying?" Shane asked.

Nate sighed and ran his fingers through his curly hair. "I don't know. I guess I'm saying that I love you both, and I want you both to be happy. And if that means that you're together…I just don't want it right in my face."

Shane stared at him blankly. _Did he really just say that?_ "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," Nate nodded.

Shane was in shock. "You take the term 'best friend' to a whole different level."

"Yeah, well, you'll pay me back," Nate smirked. "The next time you have a really hot girlfriend, I'm _definitely_ gonna sleep with her."

Shane laughed. He looked at his watch; it was almost ten o'clock. He had slept for a couple hours. What if she had already left? He stood up quickly, muttering, "I have to go," to Nate as he ran out of the room and down the hallway.

He knocked on her door urgently, praying that she was still there. When Jenna opened the door, he could tell that she had still been crying recently.

"Shane? What…"

He interrupted her by pressing his lips firmly against hers, cupping her face in his hands. She broke the kiss after a moment, staring at him in confusion.

"Shane…if you can't be with me, just let me go. Don't tease me," she begged.

"I _can_ be with you," he grinned.

"What?"

"I just talked to Nate…he said that we should do what makes us happy," he explained.

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

Shane nodded. "But he said you can't come on tour."

She smiled, pressing her forehead against his. "Fair enough."

She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Hey," he whispered, breaking the kiss.

"What?"

"I love you," he told her. It felt incredible to finally say those words. For it to be okay for him to say those words.

"I love you, too," she grinned. "Now shut up and kiss me."


End file.
